Whap My Ass

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Produced by Blue Trumpet for Radio 2RRR, Jove’s Pearls is a collection of verse 'chiefly in the Australian vernacular' by Jovial Mark ... painter, poet, dilettante, and ratbag, hailing from the deep south of South Australia...


The poem...

I was king of the range, a son of a gun
Gold spurs on my heels and a big stetson
Cattle out there grew mighty fast
Till that dumb bastard whapped my ass

I was black dirt farmin’ in old Kentuck
Grew King cotton and corn did shuck
Ate rump steak, no stinkin’ hash
Till that dumb bastard whapped my ass

I was boss of a GM production line
Got those autos out right on time
Drove an Eldorado, mighty flash
Till that dumb bastard whapped my ass

I was a truckin’ man, had a Kenworth rig
Haulin’ a load of four hun’erd pig
Man, I sure did step on the gas
Till that dumb bastard whapped my ass

I took a job in a coal minin’ town
Worked a stope six mile down
Dangerous work, but I did nothin’ rash
Till that dumb bastard whapped my ass

Yep, there’s a mother out there for all o’ you
Gonna grind you down no matter what you do
So watch out boy, you’re gonna feel the lash
When some dumb bastard whaps your ass

American cowboy 1887


Music...

Music featured in the poem comes from 'Six Days on the Road' by Taj Mahal.


Credits...

Radio 2RRR 88.5FMProduced by Blue Trumpet for Radio 2RRR
Original verse by Jovial Mark
Adapted for radio by James Benn
With special thanks to Johnny Boxer
Poems interpreted by…

  • Johnny Boxer
  • James Benn

Introductions and credits by Amie Maguire